Negative Times Negative
by Darsh
Summary: Touya didn't get why a small slip of tongue would land them in a big mess. Shindou wasn't aware that the reason behind his actions wasn't as pure as he thought. Akari didn't know that her simple request was just what the pair needed to start the war. BL
1. Act 1: The Blizzard

Disclaimer: I own an Akira key chain! That's about all I own.

Author's note: Hello people! Long time no see. Sorry to grace you with the same old title again, but I just can't seem to start on a new piece leaving the old one so tattered and messy. I assure you this will be my last version, and I hope it will be the best one of them all. Please enjoy and feel free to comment.

**The Blizzard**

* * *

"Can't you just stop looking for my mistakes and start to notice your own!" Touya shouted rather angrily. 

"What? But that's what discussing is all about! It's about telling the other person where he could do better!" Shindou retorted, "Why can't you just admit that you are so damned arrogant that you can't stand people pointing out your flaws! Oh that's right, 'cause you are just so damned arrogant!"

"You are right! You tell the person where he could have done better! You don't shout in their face or mock them for a simple mistake! Not that what I did was a mistake! It was the best move available in that situation!" once he made up his mind, no one could tell Touya that his opinion was wrong. "And I'm not arrogant! I can accept other people's suggestions… if they happen to be right!"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

It was midwinter in the busy city of Tokyo. A thick layer of snow was covering everything from the roof of the buildings to the bike outside Shindou's house. On that freezing evening, Touya Meijin's salon was unexpectedly closed due to the upcoming blizzard. Sadly, no one cared to inform the two teenage pros, and they were left staring at the notice posted on the glass door. Yet the two dedicated rivals had still agreed to play at Shindou's house, since it was much closer to the train station, and Touya really couldn't stand Shindou's complaints about the cold.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

After a few hours of silence as the pair preceded in the game, Shindou's mother was wondering if they had fallen asleep or somehow gotten frozen because no sound came out from that room for ages. **Maybe they killed each other? **She thought momentarily.

Just as she was about to check on them, she heard "can't you just stop looking for my mistakes and start to notice your own?" coming out from the closed door.

**Ah…I wonder what Hikaru had said to make Touya-kun so mad? They had been getting along rather well these days. That is, if they don't play Go. **Shindou's mother thought to herself. **In fact, I think they are getting along a little too well. They tried to hide it but as if I couldn't tell; not to mention Hikaru's father caught them cuddling in the living room when they thought we were asleep.**

She smiled as she recalled the way her husband looked when he returned from the trip to the bathroom, the way he mumbled on long after they shared the hints they noticed since the day Shindou invited Touya over for dinner.

She also wondered to herself exactly why was she ok with all this. Why wasn't she worried or disgusted? **Well… **she reasoned with herself, **it's not like you are not normal; it's just that you got an open mind. Where do you think Hikaru got his personality? You and his father, of course! **

"What? But that's what discussing is all about! It's about…"

**Uh… if they are talking about Go, then I shouldn't interfere. They are the pros and I don't even count as an amateur. I can't help them, and they would just get mad at me. I will just go make them some tea in case one of them needs extra saliva or the other loses his voice. **

With that, Shindou's mother retreated back into the kitchen.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"'If they are right' how could you say that? If they weren't right, why would I tell you! If I'm your rival, don't you think you can at least trust me on things like this?" Shindou bounced up from the floor and pointed at a stone, "Think about it. This stone, if used properly, would have clearly cut my shape here and then this whole territory would be yours in just two more hands!"

Touya's gaze followed his accusing finger and stared at the stone. He thought about it. **So**** maybe he was right... **

Nevertheless, Touya could feel a hint of frustration rising from his chest. Before he knew that his mouth was moving, he blurted out, "So what if you are my rival! You don't have to be so cocky! It's not like you always make the best move. And what I did wasn't wrong either! You just got lucky and found a better path! And anyways, I still win by half a moku!"

"It's not the point of winning! You clearly don't give a damn about my opinions! Everything I said is either wrong or not good enough! So what if I'm your rival?! Then I guess it would be 'so what if you are my lover' someday, huh! Forget it! Suit yourself… I'm leaving!" Shindou screamed at the top of his lung.

"What does that have to do with anything?! You know, it never ceases to amaze me how abrupt you change the subjects. It's as if you have no attention span or something." Touya grumbled while blushing, but then he realized something before the other boy, "Eh? Uh… where are you going? This is your house, stupid!" He said somewhat amusingly.

"Seriously though, not so loud on the lover thing… you want the whole world to know?"

"Touya, give me a break! We are in my house. Do you see a whole world of people in here? And I am planning on telling my parents; I'm not used to keeping secrets from them!" Shindou sat down again, feeling embarrassed for his impulsiveness. He looked straight into Touya's eyes, preparing himself for a serious discussion.

"Secrets, you kept a lot of secrets. And you still are! Taking Sai for example…" Touya started in his matter-of-fact tone.

"Shut up! He is different!" Shindou said, narrowing his eyes. Sometimes he wondered if that was all Touya cared about--Sai.

Sometime Touya wondered if Sai was more important to Shindou than him. Or if Sai is the boundary he had to cross to truly become Shindou's companion. The room was quiet for a second, as they both got lost in their private thoughts.

"Whatever, let's drop it. This has nothing to do with Sai anyway." Shindou said as he stood up once again and walked to the door. Touya was jolted back to reality by his words. He looked up and noticed that his rival/boyfriend had risen once more and had made his way to the door.

"Where are you going now? You can't still be upset about the lost game? Don't act like it's the first time." Touya teased.

"No. Since I know I was right and all," that earned him a halfhearted glare.

"I'm going…no…we should both go and tell my mom about…well, us. I have wanted to do it for some time now."

"HUH?!" Touya dropped the go stone that was trapped in-between his finger.

"Well, since you brought it up, I think today is as good as any other day. Don't worry about it, my mom is cool, she will be okay with it! Not like that woman has any extreme opinions on anything anyway…Then we won't have to hide anymore, at least not in my house." Shindou leaned on the opened door, seemingly waiting for Touya to come along.

"I brought what up, when?" Touya looked to be in mild confusion but wild panic. His mind seems to have rejected Shindou's words. It's apparently too much information to digest in such a short time. Looking at him then, Shindou had an urge to attack him; and he might have very well done so if there weren't something serious on his mind.

"It doesn't matter! Come on, let's go tell my mom that we are madly in love with each other, and if it was acceptable, then we would have married long time ago. Of course…you will have to put that in a more round-about way." Shindou chuckled at his own joke.

"WHAT? Wait, wait, what?! I thought you were just joking! You are joking right? You can't be serious about that?! NO! There is no way!" Touya bounced up, sprinted forward, and grabbed Shindou's arm, trying to stop him from going any further.

"What do you mean 'what'? Are you serious about us, Akira?" Shindou was surprised by the sudden outburst. He knew Touya would be more conservative than him, but this?

"Well…yeah, but, we are not fully prepared or anything. I didn't even bring any gifts. Besides, we didn't give her any warning. Isn't it cruel to just tell her bluntly that her son is gay and in love with another guy?" Touya frantically searched his mind for excuses to stop Shindou's thoughtless act.

"If that's what you are worried about, don't. My mom isn't the type that cares for all those formality. She feels uncomfortable when people get too serious." Shindou waved the concern away.

Another look at Touya's anxious face, and the answer slowly dawn on him, "Are you planning to hide this for as long as humanly possible?" Shindou asked lightly, a little shocked, a little disappointed, and a little hurt.

"I think that's best fitting, yes. I was sure you felt the same." Touya tried to explain this calmly. "The timing is not right, and I don't think we are ready. That is why we can't tell anyone! Neither your parents nor mine! Not Isumi and definitely not Waya! He would certainly broadcast it as soon as the information reaches him. Do you know what would happen to us and our future if the Go world finds out that we are…we are abnormal?"

"Abnormal? So that's what you think huh! You are ashamed of this, aren't you!" it was an accusation, not a question.

"Hikaru, try to understand. I'm not ashamed but I'm not very proud of it either!" Touya sighed, looking for the right answer to satisfy his unusually unstable partner, wait no, that's not quite right. When he saw how Shindou's face darkened, he knew that he said the wrong thing.

"Oh…I see" Shindou looked away, trying hard to cover the sadness that was suddenly so overwhelming. "Well, Touya, you are regretting it then? I know I'm proud. I'm proud to have someone who understands me by my side. I'm proud that I can love someone this much, and what I'm proud of the most, Touya, is that this 'someone' is you."

"I know... You know I didn't quite mean it that way. I mean, let's just keep this to ourselves for now, alright?" Touya softened his tone, his heart pounding fast at the rare words that escaped his lover's mouth.

"If that's what you want. I will do my best." Shindou was truly disappointed that his rival was so secretive about their feelings toward each other, but he was touching base with one of the relationship components: respect, so if that's what Touya truly wants, then….

They walked back to the goban and sat down. Shindou looked at the game on the board silently, clearly somewhat fuming about the rejection. Touya frowned; he could sense trouble, because after all, how long is he going to hold off this matter? It's highly unlikely that Shindou will just let it go.

After several minutes pasted in silence, Touya started to fidget. He glanced at the still motionless Shindou and wanted desperately to say something to lose the tension. Besides, something was nagging at him, making his chest burn…

"You know, it's amazing how well you keep Sai your deepest secret! You are willing to expose our secret to everyone, but you are protecting Sai with your dear life." Hearing himself, Touya could feel his blood cooling, since when was he such an inconsiderate, bigmouthed idiot? Isn't that the topic they were trying to avoid?

"Anyhow, I wonder if I should be jealous." Touya finished hesitantly, trying hard to cover it up. He didn't mean at all to bring them back to the argument again.

"That's because our -your so called-'secret' doesn't have to be a secret! I don't know how you connect those two completely different things together! Why? What are you so afraid of?" Shindou asked.

Touya sighed; he was hoping Shindou wouldn't bring it up, he was praying that Shindou had ignore his yakking or maybe decides to just let it go.

"What's not to be afraid of, the fact that my parents are going to be completely and utterly disappointed in me, that they may even relentlessly discard me? Or maybe you think it's no big deal if the Go world reject me? It would pretty much ruin me!" he was going to say 'us', but he knew Shindou would just argue that he wouldn't mind or care.

Shindou's eyes widen at that confession. **It would ruin him! Oh no! I wouldn't wanna ruin his life and reputation! Maybe I shouldn't stay with him at all! After all, how long can I hide this! I wouldn't want to be blamed when he is ruined! **

**Ruining him, I don't want that to happen because of me…I want him to be successful. I want him to play Go. I want him to reach the hand of God. I want him to be happy. I'm so selfish. I… hey, who here is the selfish one? **Shindou thought sarcastically, and then sarcasm turned into guilt, then sadness, and lastly, anger.

"Why didn't you just say so...?" He said ever so calmly.

"Wha--?" Touya was caught off guard; he looked up from the Goban. He froze when he saw the expression on Shindou's face. The way his hair fell into his eyes, making a shadow unsuitable for the cheery boy. The way his hands clench tightly to form two fists…

"Leave please." He raised his volume.

"What's wrong? Hika-."

"I said leave! Just go! Leave me alone! Better yet, I will leave you alone!" Shindou exploded; he tried not to notice the concern and confusion on his lo- no, his rival's face.

Touya finally remembered their conversation before he got absorbed into their former game. He quickly shouted, "Let me explain! I didn't mean----"

"You didn't mean it? Akira, of all the things you said to me during our time together, what did you mean and what did you not mean? Was all that 'I love you' 'I missed you' and 'I want to be with you' crap? Can you tell me what is true? Because see, I'm confused here! Taking right now for example, you already said numerous things that you didn't mean. Can I still be damned to trust you?"

"Don't use that tone with me! Hikaru! I mean everything I said! I… you are not making this easy!" Touya felt like he just stepped into Shindou's trap.

"Well, guess what, maybe I don't want to! It wasn't supposed to be easy! From the moment we confessed, from the moment I kissed you, I was ready for whatever hardship that was coming. I was ready to face anything…with you, Touya, not by myself! Apparently, even if you care about me, you are not ready for this!" Shindou went to face the door, his hand slowly reaching for the doorknob "So that's how you felt…why didn't you tell me sooner? And here I am, feeling all happy and in love. Why didn't you tell me…your fear…ruining you? I didn't know…I didn't…"

"Hikaru, listen! You misunderstood! " Touya walked towards him. Feeling terrible for what he said.

"No, don't touch me! You know what? Damn this! Damn it all! I don't need this! I'm such a fool! I want you to leave, NOW!" with that he opened the door wide.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**What was that? Their fight never got this serious before. They screamed, yes. They shouted insults, yes. They threw things at each other, maybe, but Hikaru ordering Touya-kun to leave, never before. **Shindou's mother dropped her teacup when that scream leaked through the door. She hurried out of the kitchen and went for the staircase; she made it just in time to see a miserable Touya breezing by and rushing for the door.

Touya saw her and slowed down. His pained face changing to the usual politeness, and he muttered: "Shindou-san, thank you for everything."

Then he was gone.

"Hikaru! That was a horribly rude thing to say! I don't care what the reason, go and apologize, now!" she shouted while running up the stairs, ready to give her son a lecture.

What she expected to see was a fuming Shindou glaring at the air in front of him. Except, what she really saw was a broken hearted boy, who buried his head in his pillow and let out a big sigh. He once again looked so small. However, unlike when he was a carefree child, exhausted from playing soccer, now there is a different kind of tiredness. Despair and hurt was written all over his lean body that hung half in, half out of the bed.

"Oh. My…" was the only whisper she could manage at the moment.

No one knows it then, but that was just the beginning.

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

oXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXo 

**Previews** for the next chapter:

-He stopped and stared longingly inside. It looked like the gardens in the Christmas globe his mother gave him when he was five.

-_A few seconds later, a panicked voice shouted from inside the crowd, "Call an ambulance! 911!"_

-Touya wiped the icy droplets from his face and smiled sadly.

-And that was the perfect resemblance of happiness.

oXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXo

**Author's note**: So that's all for this chapter. I'm not sure if the storyline will interest everybody, being Shounen-ai and all. If you like it however, I would feel very encouraged if you come back for more. Also a few things:

**Bold words**- thoughts of various characters

_Italic words- _flashbacks

Underlined words - greater emphasis

All in all, I truly hope you liked it, and if you must, the review button is right below. That is, if you must ;)


	2. Act 2: The Mirage

Disclaimer: you really don't know? Well, I don't either. It's not me, that's for sure. (Last time writing this, I'm sure you get the point ).

Author's note: Second chapter at your service. If you liked the first, then all the more reason to read its sequel. I hope you enjoy my version of Hikaru/Akira. They are too cute to be left alone, don't you think? Well, dig in, and thank you for the reviews!

**The Mirage**

* * *

"It was a misunderstanding." Touya whispered into the white puffy breath. 

**I didn't mean it! I didn't mean that! I didn't!** Touya rushed outside into the coldness of the world. He shivered when the icy flakes kissed him on his cheeks. **Hikaru's kiss was always warm. **He thought sadly.

Dragging a pair of heavy boots and a shattered heart with him, Touya headed for the station.

**How did I let the situation get so complicated? How come I was so careless about the words I chose? That wasn't my style. **He thought as he walked senselessly in the cold and empty winter street.

**I thought he would understand, that was why I just said what was there on my mind. I trusted him to understand… didn't everyone say that we were so in tune? So why doesn't he underst— **It seemed like half an hour have passed, and maybe it did. Yet the snow was like ten heavy blankets folded twice and glued together. Even Touya's expensive boots were no match for the icy cold blocks. He found himself drained; he was suddenly so tired, physically and emotionally.

That was when he looked up at his surrounding and noticed he was just outside the park near Hikaru's neighborhood. He stopped and stared longingly inside. It looked like the gardens in the Christmas globe his mother gave him when he was five.

So white… so different from the time Shindou brought him here and introduced him to his friends, namely Fujisaki, Mitani, Kaga and Tsutsui. So deserted… so different from the time Hikaru had said that Touya should take some time relaxing after intensive games and dragged him here. So cold… so different from the time they confessed their love and kissed for the first time.

How did it happen again?

_Flashback_

* * *

"_Waya, have you seen Shindou Today?" Touya walked from his board to the back of the cramped room where a brown haired boy sat clearing his Goban with a satisfied expression._

_"Touya?" The boy turned._

_"No! Shindou!" Touya rolled his eyes._

_"Wow, you know how to joke, but nope, haven't seen him. Why?" Waya resumed to clearing his white stones._

_"Just want to talk to him. Well, I guess good bye then." Touya shifted._

_"Oh, wait; yesterday when we were eating dinner, he said something about a gathering." Waya frowned. "I remember something along the line of 'we would have met in school but since tomorrow is Saturday, we decided to go to the park in my neighborhood', something like that."_

_**We?** Touya thought. **Oh most likely his high school friends, from the club probably.** He turned to the boy and bowed his head slightly and murmured thanks. Then he headed for the door._

_"You are going..." He heard half of Waya's sentence but didn't bother waiting for the rest._

_XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO_

_He wasn't going to go really; after all, he wasn't invited to the gathering. For some reason though, he had really wanted to see that rival of his recently. But they were always too busy to bump into each other. It's a beautiful Saturday and there was not much to be done so he might as well go for a walk..._

_He saw Shindou by the entrance, facing the other direction. **His friends haven't arrived yet?** **Then I will go and say hi**. He quickened his pace and headed towards the boy in the yellow T-shirt._

_Ten meters away from the entrance, a silvery BMW breezed pass Touya, creating an unnatural wind strong enough to LIFT any skirt. **Maybe it's some drunker looking for trouble?** Touya thought as he stopped to even out his hair. Just as he looked up, the same crazy car gave an ear-numbing screech and smashed into a wide alleyway before it disappeared._

_There was silence for a minute as everyone turned around to see what the commotion was. Touya took the opportunity to look for Shindou, but he noticed with a start that the boy was nowhere in sight. Then murmurs came from everywhere as people started to pile in to the spot where a lump was lying lifelessly on the ground. Touya caught a glimpse of the yellow T-shirt before a wall of people consumed it. A few seconds later, a panicked voice shouted from inside the crowd, "Call an ambulance! 911!"_

_**What's going on?** suspicion dawn on him; Touya felt all the blood rushing out of his face, the icy chill started to spread into his fingertips. He swallowed. His ears were filled with nothing but his own heartbeat. The chaos before him was like a muted movie playing out a part of reality. Through the rhythmic beating, a woman's shrilled voice managed to reach him and he heard, "It's a young boy, a good looking young man!"_

_It was almost like something in his head exploded. A gush of hot air pushed at his lung. He gasped twice. Then he heard yet another voice, a terrible scream filled with agony and was all too familiar... _

_"Shindou!!!!" _

_A few pairs of curious eyes landed on him, studying the pale boy. Most people though, were still fussing over the body on the ground._

_He felt dizzy and on the brink of collapsing. His knees wobbled and he wished to run to a bathroom because his stomach wasn't settling too well. He took a step forward and slide. Before his knees hit the ground, a hand grabbed his left elbow and another landed on his right shoulder. **What nice people, I will thank them later. But what do I do now? It was obviously Shindou, I saw him right there before the car came, and the shirt...What do I do? Do I go identify the body now? Call his parents? Hold a conference for the late pro? Pretend he never existed? No! No!**_

_"Hikaru..." His voice was shaky and hoarse as he called out his rival's first name._

_"Hikaru! Hikaru! I...I wa…I want to..." He choked on his sobs, but he had to let it out, the yearning in his heart, the proof of Shindou's existence, the evidence of his own sanity, and what else can do that besides... "I...I want to play a game with you! I want to play..."_

_"Now?" Shindou's voice sounded bewildered, hesitating and amused._

_Touya's head shoot up from his chest where he had sunk it. His tears flew out of his eyelashes as he almost glared at the crowd in front of him, as if he could see through all those bodies. **Did...did Shindou just talked to me? Did the dead...Or did his spirit left his body and...and talked to me?** His head swung from left to right as his eyes searched the air for a ghost of his rival and friend._

_The hand on his shoulder squeezed him lightly to indicate that the person or ghost he was looking for was right there behind him. Touya jumped and did a 180 degrees turn. His eyes widened in confusion and almost fear. Then he looked at the crowd and then at the boy in front of him, then the crowd, then the boy... Seconds later, he flung himself at Shindou and sighed deeply. He hugged him tightly and let his tears flow out along with his relief. And boy was he glad that the body before him was solid._

_XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO_

_Shindou guided Touya into the empty park by his arms and led him to the bench under a big green maple tree. They sat and waited for Touya to calm down. Soon enough, he did, and he turned his gaze to the street. By then, the police had already come and was clearing the area crowded with people, putting up yellow emergency tapes and the sort. The boy-not-Shindou was probably in serious danger by the look of the amount of blood on the pavement, Touya shivered._

_"Although I kinda caught up with what's going on and all, but do you mind telling me why you look so...crestfallen- to put it gently- for a guy you don't even know?" Shindou looked at him with concerned eyes. "Oh, I'm not saying that you have no feelings and all, and I mean maybe you do know the dude from somewh..."_

_"I thought he was you, okay?" Touya said impatiently.  
_

_"Huh? A Shindou Wannabe? The bleached ha..."_

_"His back was facing me; I didn't see the bleached hair. But the height, posture, clothing style and everything was the same, so I..." Touya felt more than irritated, **Shindou can joke after that?**_

_"I see..."_

_"This is embarrassing." Touya said in a tone of self-hatred._

_Silence fell between the two as Shindou studied Touya thoughtfully.  
_

_"To tell you the truth, if I was the one standing where you were, and saw you or supposedly you getting hit by a car and die...My reaction would be far worse." Shindou smile sheepishly._

_"Really..." Touya quirk an eyebrow, "Tell me, what would you have done? I was totally lost..."_

_"Well, first I would make a scene kicking and screaming in front of you corpse. I'm sure you would be so angry that you would revive to kill me." Touya rolled his eyes and Shindou laughed._

_"Then, I would catch the hit-and-run bastard and rip him in half." Shindou's expression turned a little serious. "And when I'm in jail, I would play go and think of you everyday." _

_Touya blushed, **that sounded...sweet, well not the killing part or the jail thing, but sweet nevertheless.** "Well, at least I know now that my rival also takes me very seriously." _

_Shindou frowned at that, then he took a big breath and turned to face Touya, "I...I have something to tell you. Forget the rival thing okay? I, you know, I don't know ever since when I start to see you as...important, then very important, and now the most important person in my life, and I don't know why either...When I realized a few weeks ago, I felt so afraid to be around you. I was afraid you would notice my gaze, my urge, or my… I should probably wait to say this to my wife huh. Heh."_

_Shindou searched Touya's face for any trace of distaste before continuing. "It's just that when I'm playing Go, I would think about how you would respond to my moves, and when I eat ramen, I would think about what you would say when you see me eating it all three meals a day. I would laugh at how you panic when yet another fan girl confesses to you, or how you get angry over the stupidest things and…. what I'm trying to say is..."_

_Touya blinked, **what's** **Shindou saying?**_

_"I know this kind of thing would be unacceptable to you, and the heck, it would never happen to me either if it had not been for...him, Go and of course you." Shindou smiled weakly._

_**Shindou meant Sai**, Touya mused. _

_"The truth is, when I realized that you were crying over that guy because you thought he was me, I was happy. I was extremely pleased, Touya. I saw that you at least give a little damn about me, and I was encouraged because even if you don't see me the way I see you, you probably won't kill me for seeing you that way... Uh, so, before I chicken out, I...I think I'm in love."_

_Touya blinked again and Shindou quickly added, "With you I mean, Of course with you! Heheh. I...I'm sorry but..."_

_Five, then ten minutes passed in silence, and it was clear that it was Touya's turn to talk now. He lowered his head. "It would be lying if I say I don't care about you... I missed you these few weeks. Besides, I'm not the kind of person to cry over losing a rival. It would be extremely unfortunate but I wouldn't feel the pain I just did when I thought you were..." He shivered again._

_He finally looked up, "Do you get it?"_

_Shindou smiled and nodded, "Close enough." Then he captured Touya's lips into a soft, slow but passionate kiss._

_After they broke off, Touya glared at him, bright red. "Shindou! Don't take advantage of me! At least think of the locat..." _

_Shindou grabbed him and held him close, He grinned into Touya's shoulder as he said, "but you don't call it taking advantage when you just tearfully confessed to me!"_

_"What! You did!" Touya blushed, **Okay, we both did but...** "Oh, by the way, where are your friends, what about the gathering?"_

_"Huh? Oh, it ended some time ago, before I found you weeping for your beloved...at least you thought he was your belov... Ow!" Shindou ducked the second blow. _

_"Humph!" Touya crossed his arms over his chest._

_"And anyway, how did you know about our secret gathering? You had been stalking me for how long now?" Shindou smirked slyly._

_"Oh that's it! We are breaking up!"_

_"Wha...Hey!"_

* * *

That fateful day happened a year ago… Touya wiped the icy droplets from his face and smiled sadly. And then, maybe he had imagined it, but he saw two teenagers engulfed in each other's arms standing exactly where they were sitting. One of the boy's olive green hair swayed in the autumn wind. Behind them, the orange sun was setting, leaving behind fragments of colors from the rainbow. Under them, their shadows intertwined together and stretched into eternity. Above them and all around them, the amber leaves were twirling, twirling, twirling… 

And that was a perfect resemblance of happiness.

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

oXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXo 

**Previews** for the next chapter:

-"Nothing… well, do you think maybe we could go for lunch together, tomorrow? If you are not too busy hanging with those serious adult people." She asked.

-"Mother?" **Strange, is this mother? She doesn't sound like my mother, she sounded like Shindou's mother, yelling at Shindou.**

-"Hello, I'm Shindou. I'm outside your house… Yes. Just to make sure if Touya came home…is that so… yes… oh… okay…no, that's fine.

**-He is not my concern now. We are finished! **

oXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXo

**Author's note**: Oh, I hope you like it. Seriously though, if you have any comments or opinions, I would like to hear them. I can say I'm pretty conceited, so unless people tell me where it could be better, I probably think it is all good. Anyhow, wait for the next chapter, it won't be long until I post it, read the preview and you would see that I finished it with flying colour! Hope to see you!


	3. Act 3: The Phone Calls

Author's note: At this point, I think all of you should be informed that chapters 1-3 are pebbles. They pave the road for events that will happen in chapter 4 to the end. I really wouldn't call it a waste of time, but they may seem quite uneventful at the moment. I hope I did somewhat a good job to keep you entertained and didn't completely ruined the impression you have on this story! Please stick with it, you won't regret it. Now let your last torture before the fun begin!

**The Phone Calls**

* * *

Shindou puts the receiver down, and then stared absently at the phone. **Where is he then? It is now almost seven pm. **

**Yes, I called Touya, but that doesn't mean anything. I just wanted to make sure that bastard returns home safely so I won't be responsible for anything that happens to the guy. **Shindou reasoned with himself darkly. He wasn't ready to deal with his consciousness yet.

RING… RING… RING…

It was strange to be standing right in front of the phone and not be able to hear the urgent and impatient ringing. Shindou jumped a little, and then he heard his mother's soft voice from upstairs telling him to get it. Judging from the running of the water, she should be showering or doing the laundry.

"Hello? Who is this?" Shindou answered nervously. **Is it Touya? **

"Oh, Hikaru, you are home? I'm just calling to thank Shindou-san for the recipe of that chocolate pudding... is she there?" came a soft, refined soprano.

"Yeah, she is home, but she is taking a shower, I guess." Corners of his mouth turned up at the familiar voice. "Are you feeling alright? You sounded like you are sick or something." **More like crying but I shouldn't start.**

"I'm alright, Hikaru. You don't need to worry... So how are you? It's been a while since we last seen each other huh. We use to do everything together eh...now we barely see each other... once a month if I'm lucky. It's too bad really..." The voice sighed. "You seem to forget this best fri..."

"Of course not, what's up?" Shindou rolled his eyes.** Jeez, dramatic much.**

"Nothing… well, do you think maybe we could go for lunch together, tomorrow? If you are not too busy hanging with those serious adult people..." She asked hopefully.

**What is the problem this time?** She had the tendency of running to him when something goes wrong with her life. "I'm very sorry. I'm busy until next week. Why don't I meet you at the regular mall next Saturday?"

"Sure…I have waited this long. A week wouldn't make any difference... Thanks, Hikaru." They had come to an understanding that he will always be her refuge.

"Bye, Akari." Shindou hung up and then took his coat and walked outside, planning to go find his lost… wallet.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**I should head home now. I have been sitting here for the while. It's cold. I miss Shindou. Do I have a game tomorrow? Yes, but it's nothing big, nothing I can't handle... **Broken thoughts came from a frozen, broken mind.

Touya Akira was sitting on the bench in the white park. His knees were brought up to his chest; his arms were around the knees and his head was resting on his arms. He looked like a giant snowball that some kid had left on the bench. Those envision had brought him into the park, and he sat motionlessly on the wooden chair covered with snow, facing the couple. **Are they real? Who are they? That guy has the same hairdo as mine and the other guy has the same hair colors as Shindou…**

"Oh, my! Akira-kun! What are you doing here? I was so worried when I receive Shindou-kun's phone call! I was just heading to his house! Are you okay? Are you hurt? What on earth are you doing in a park? Do you know that the blizzard started twenty minutes ago?" Akiko chanted tiredly.

**Hikaru? He called? Maybe he isn't mad anymore? Maybe he will talk to me again? I should go and apologize! And then Hikaru would hug me and tell me everything is fine. **Despite the wintry cold cutting through him, Touya was very, very warm. His forehead was burning; he was sweaty under his coat and his face was rosy. But those weren't all that was warm, his heart started to defrost too. **Hikaru called!**

"Gosh! I should get you to the hospital! You are having a fever! I should have known not to let you go today when there was a blizzard coming up! But, seriously! Touya Akira, I thought you were sensible enough to go home immediately!" Akiko pulled him up and started to drag him to their family van.

"Mother?" **Strange, is this mother? She doesn't sound like my mother, she sounded like Shindou's mother, yelling at Shindou.**

"Get in; I'm taking you to the hospital. Stay warm until then." Akiko pulled out a blanket and covered Touya up carefully.

"Bye…" He whispered to the couple in the park and closed his eyes. Drifting off to sleep wasn't so hard knowing that maybe, just maybe Shindou would forgive him.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Hello, I'm Shindou. I'm outside your house… Yes. Just to make sure if Touya came home…is that so… yes… oh… okay…no, that's fine. I'm heading home then. Wish him well for me…. No, don't worry… yeah, everything is fine…I'm sorry, that was my fault…Yeah… Okay. Bye" Shindou dropped his cell phone into his pocket and scratched his head frustratingly.

"What did I tell you? He is stupid!" Shindou murmured as he headed home, hands dugging deep into his pockets.** The park, that park near my house? The one we… what the hell was he doing in there? What am I doing here? He is not my concern now. We are finished! **

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

oXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXo 

**Previews**for the next chapter:

- Shindou felt his throat tighten and without noticing, he frowned.

-"I was thinking… maybe we should go visit Touya-kun.

- This afternoon, he realized one thing. It's impossible for him to look at a Goban or play a game without thinking about Shindou,

- He knew that deep in his heart, he was not angry. He was just frustrated and tired, maybe also scared about what's to come.

oXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXo

**Author's note**: this chapter is short compare to the others, hope nobody minds. I usually find long chapters more fulfilling, but this chapter seemed just right like this, so I left it. Please leave a comment if this story grabs you, and come back for the next chapter!


	4. Act 4: The Green Tea Candies

Author's note: Ok, so maybe I lied. This chapter isn't that useful either, but I guess the whole point of a story is that it's interesting. I personally loved this chapter, so I hope you will too. Without further ado, here is chapter 4.

**The Green Tea Candies**

* * *

The storm had die down but walking was still difficult. Shindou cursed under his breath as he marched to the institute. He knew he shouldn't feel so tense before a game, but he hadn't seen Touya for two days. Since the fight, Touya had been in the hospital, and Shindou was too stubborn to even secretly visit him. Touya wasn't well enough to play the game the day before yesterday because his fever was back, or so the doctor said. Shindou was careful to only call Akiko-san thrice a day, in case she gets suspicious. Despite everything, he was worried and frustrated, not to mention guilty for kicking Touya out right before the storm. 

Shindou was walking up the front stairs to the main entrance when he saw Waya and Isumi running to catch up to him.

"Yo, Shindou, what are you doing here so early? I thought your game is in the afternoon?" Waya hollered from afar. He and Isumi would both have a game with some 2-Dan, so they were as cheery as can be. It was rare to have relaxing matches as 4-Dans, but occasionally, the organizers felt like being merciful.

As they approached him, he smiled slightly. Ignoring the concerned glances being switched between his friends, Shindou walked inside and headed for the elevator. No matter what happens outside the institute, when they are inside it, the feel of home would swept over them, and even Shindou was remotely happy.

Waya quickly stepped in after Shindou and held the door for Isumi. When they were all standing inside the bright cubicle, Waya pressed the button. Silence ensued and Shindou turned to stare at the floor numbers that were flashing by.

"You don't look so good." Isumi started carefully. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing to worry about," Shindou murmured briefly. Then he remembered Waya's previous question and quickly made his decision. "I'm just here to tell them I want to be excused from the afternoon game. I guess besides looks, I don't feel so good either."

"I wonder if there is some kinda virus going around the institute." Waya said casually, leaning on the back wall and crossed his arms.

"What do you mean?" Isumi asked curiously.

"Well, you know. Touya Almighty Junior is down with winter flu. He didn't show up for the game the day before yesterday, not like it's the first time now. I heard Sensei say he won't be here for the next week either." Waya nodded his head wisely.

Shindou felt his throat tighten and without noticing, he frowned.

"In that case, Shindou-kun, please do take care of yourself. Get some rest, you look like you haven't slept in… a while." Isumi advised him kindly.

"Sure, I was thinking of going home to catch a wink anyway." Shindou glanced at their worried face. "Come on; don't look like I have cancer. I just can't really… I will be fine by tomorrow."

The elevator dinged open, and they stepped outside. Shindou waved to them as he headed for the administration office. He didn't get far before Isumi called him back and handed him a can of hot coffee. Shindou looked surprised and mumbled thanks.

"I was thinking… maybe we should go visit Touya-kun. He won't be here for the next week, so we should at least drop by and wish him well." Glaring at Waya's protesting face, Isumi continued. "It's only polite as a fellow colleague. Tomorrow you have a game, Waya. So what do you think about Sunday, Shindou?"

"I don't think I can. Look, tell him I want him to get better soon, ok?" Shindou retreated skillfully. "And if I have time to go, I will call you tomorrow. Oh and buy him some of those green tea candies, it will be my gift."

"Do you think something happened between the two?" Isumi inquired as he watched Shindou's slouching back moving further away.

"Who cares, just don't count on me paying for those disgusting green tea candies." Waya retorted brashly. Nevertheless, he scowled and pondered over Shindou's reaction. Touya had better not done something stupid to hurt Shindou.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Akira-kun, your friends are here to visit you." Akiko-san called out gently.

"If he is asleep, please don't trouble yourself to wake him." Isumi said politely.

"I don't think he is asleep…" Akiko-san frowned and sighed. She went on quietly, "… He hasn't been talking at all since I found him in the cold. The doctor said he is fine besides the fever, no signs of pneumonia or anything. I don't understand. Akira-kun, honey…"

Waya stared at the lump on the white hospital bed and walked forward.

"Shindou said we should come to visit you." He said bluntly. They all observed Touya carefully as his body uncurled itself and turned to face the visitors.

"Shindou… is not here?" Touya sat up and looked about, puzzled.

"He doesn't feel well. When we last saw him, he had a big headache and had to be escorted out from his game." Waya replied simply, his face void of any expression.

Isumi raised his eyebrow slightly. **What is Waya thinking?**

What Waya was thinking at that moment was that he couldn't wait to get some reaction out of this stubborn and cold-hearted prodigy. As expected, Touya's eyes widen a bit. All too soon though, he regained his composure and closed up his face, showing no more emotion. Akiko-san patted Isumi's shoulder and retreated out of the room. Her son had been acting strange, and maybe his friends will help sort things out.

"How are you, Touya-kun?" Isumi came forward and put the bag on the small table.

"I'm well, thank you." Touya answered automatically.

"He thinks we are blind." Waya said rudely to Isumi, pretending Touya was deaf.

"Waya…" Isumi threatened him with a menacing tone, then he turned his attention back to Touya. "I heard you will be staying here for a week? I hope it's nothing serious."

"Mother is over-reacting a bit. I'm just a little woozy." Touya hesitated, he desperately wanted to investigate Shindou's wellbeing, but that wouldn't be right, not yet.

"Shindou was going to come with us, but… as Waya might have mentioned, he is not in his best condition." Isumi saw through him and explained. He knew that Shindou was Touya's best friend, and his absence without a reason would hurt the boy.

"I'm happy that you guys came. I was somewhat bored." Touya said honestly. He smiled weakly at them.

**Even if Shindou was well, would he have come? **Touya thought gloomily.

Isumi noted that he saw the same smile on a different face some time before. He had a bad feeling that his instinct was right. Something quite serious had went wrong.

"I brought a portable Goban. It would be the best way to chase away your boredom." Isumi said cheerfully, reaching into the bag.

" Shindou asked us to bring you some candy, green tea flavour. I don't see why since you are clearly no longer a kid." Waya added and sat down on the sofa situated at the other side of the room.

Touya blinked, Shindou… He swallowed hard, devouring all the tears that were threatening to come. He felt uncontrollable happiness mingled with sadness, and the sensation was overwhelming all his logic.

"He sends his regards, please get better." Isumi turned and smiled encouragingly at Touya.

"Thank you. Well, enough about Shindou. Would any of you be so kind to have a game with me?" With that, the three pros dropped all conversation outside Go strategies and tactics. They switched comments and suggestions in a civilized manner. When Waya's watch beeped six times, the pros had played several matches and were content to part for the day.

After the door close behind the departing friends, the stillness inside the hospital room was suffocating. Touya brought his knees up to his chest and hugged them hard. He felt the tears and welcomed them. This afternoon, he realized one thing. It was now impossible for him to look at a Goban or play a game without thinking about Shindou, and he can't think about Shindou without wanting to rip himself apart for all that he had done.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Shindou walked for a while but then suddenly stopped. It's no good to go home; the mother was worried sick and had been bothering him non-stop.

Mostly, Shindou-san just talked about the good times they had when Touya was over. They say it helps to remember the good times when things go bad, but apparently, that's bull because all it was doing was causing Shindou chest pains...

He turned and headed in the other direction. It's time to heal the wound using his own method.

Coming out of the warm convenient store, Shindou sniffed and wriggled his toes. After days of stormy weather, the moon had made its most fabulous entry. It shone like a sun, yet it was still cold as hell. Moonlight was reflected on the snow inside the park to form glitters. You could almost see the snow fairies from _Nutcracker and the Sugarplum Princess_ dancing around, making magic.

But the thing is, there was no magic...not that night. Shindou looked at the park hesitantly but finally decided to walk in. He, just like Touya, moved to the bench where they had sat on the day they decided that they wanted to be together, possibly forever.

Shindou laughed at himself and sat down on the clean side of the bench knowing that Touya had sat there five days ago. He took out a pack of beer from the plastic bag, precisely half a dozen, and sighed. No one would do this besides him, that part was for sure. A guy must be truly insane to drink beer in a park piled with four feet of snow. Either that or he must have missed his lover...a lot.

Shindou knew his heart probably couldn't take much at the moment, yet he couldn't help but remembering every second he had spent with Touya. He knew that deep in his heart, he was not angry. He was just frustrated and tired, maybe also scared about what's to come. He knew he would be a fool if he thought they were finished. He could not just get over Touya like that.

Shindou checked his watch when he finished his second can, 10:47. He had the urge to rewind the time; to go back to this morning. He wanted to call Isumi and tell him he will go visit Touya after all. If that's the last thing he will ever do, he would still do it.

Now he couldn't. He can't face the Touya they described. For once he chose to trust Waya. While Isumi reported Touya's condition with kinder, nicer words, Waya's report was soaked in honesty. In short, Touya looked like shit.

Shindou pulled his coat in tighter to stop the sharp stab of pain in his chest. He gulped down another mouthful of beer to curb the knocking of his teeth. His mother would not be happy about all this, not at all. However, she would understand and accept. Therefore, Shindou kept on going until the last can ran dry...

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

oXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXo 

**Previews **for the next chapter:

-"You have changed a lot…" Akari looked up and smiled.

-** Not like it would make a difference without Mitani. I love Akari like a real sister.**

-"Um…it wasn't that bad, I thought I was going to die. Maybe struck by lightning or buried in an avalanche." Since it was over, Shindou found himself joking out of relief.

-** I got my answer.** Touya struggled to stand, completely ignoring the helping hand. **No more cowering before him...** He stood and started to walk away.

oXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXo

**Author's note:** Those of you who read the last version and remembered it probably know that this chapter didn't exist before. I just thought it was rushed the last time, so I welcomed this chapter into the fun. I hope you had fun in the process too. Please be patient for the next chapter. Thank you.


	5. Act 5: The Kiss

Author's note: Huzzah, the moment that we have all been waiting for! I'm so excited even though I was the one who wrote it. I have to say this is pretty much the center of my plot. What I mean is that when my muse came to me at twelve o'clock at night years ago; this was the scene she projected in my mind. I don't know if I captured it ok...But here it is!

Oh and **Kals**, you were right on. XD

.  
**The Kiss**

* * *

"So, are you ready to tell me what happened?" After they finished lunch and did a little shopping on Akari's side, Shindou finally got to the point. 

They were in their regular mall, wandering around aimlessly. It had been their hang out place ever since they were small, naïve eleven year olds. The food there was awesome, the merchandise was cheap, and the clothes were pretty. However, all that just doesn't really appeal to you when you got loads on your mind. In their case, it means both of them weren't paying any attention to what they ate and what they bought.

"Yeah, but it looks like I'm not the only one who is ready for useful advices. What's wrong with you? Fighting with your pro friends?" Akari always felt comfortable around her best friend. They just belong together.

"Hey, you invited me out to listen to you! I never invited you out to ask about me. So don't change the subject. What's with you?" Shindou said, annoyed. He had remained Touya-free for almost a week and a half; and like any kind of addict, he felt that his thin nerve is about to snap any second.

"It's Mitani!" She hung her head.

**Oh great, another relationship equation. Why couldn't she just complain about her marks again? Or how her mother won't let her stay up past midnight... small trivial like that? Those I can handle. Why does she talk about love when I don't even know what it is? Especially, why now, when I'm so confused myself?** Shindou screamed inwardly.

"It's just that all he does now is work! I mean, I liked him because he was so carefree and relaxed! Maybe a little rebellious…but that was why I loved him..." Akari murmured the last part. Shindou heard it nevertheless.

"And now, his hours are just inhuman! He works before and after school, starting from five in the morning to nine. And then continued from five in the afternoon to twelve! I mean, who works non-stop, if not a mere teenager? Does he need money that desperately?"

Even without fully understanding the situation, Shindou could still understand Mitani's intentions. Mitani had told Shindou during one of their conversations that he plans on giving up university and walk into society earlier than he is supposed to. Shindou could also tell that Mitani is very serious about this relationship, so chances are these two friends would get married and possibly have children.

Shindou shuddered at the mere thought of him being a slave to family, work and responsibility. However, he knew that loving someone deeply makes sacrifices worthwhile. **So what's the problem with Mitani preparing for the hard future?**

"I mean, we barely get to spend time together!" Shindou rolled his eyes at that. "And most importantly, he is exhausted! He never gets enough sleep now. You wouldn't believe it's him standing in front of you even with a name tag!"

By now, they had already left the mall, and Akari was heading towards Shindou's neighborhood with the boy in tow. She was still complaining and didn't even notice when she walked into the park with half melted snow. Shindou stiffen a little and then bravely followed. Beside the same bench he had sat on a week ago, Akari swiftly swept the snow off the wood and plopped down.

"Whenever I mentioned it to him, he would just say 'you won't understand. You never understands' and then he walks out on me! To work!" Akari screamed since no one was around.

She calmed down a little and lowered her head mournfully "I wish I have a boyfriend like you…it would make everything so easy."

"How so?" Shindou asked defensively. **What does she mean by that? That I don't have to work? **

"Well, you usually don't give a hoot about work, so that would be the last thing to separate you from the ones you love." She went on explaining; Shindou grunted indigantly at that.

"Besides, you understand me and would support me no matter what." she tried to stop the tears, but they had been ignored or suppressed for so many times this week that they were mad and they wanted out!

"Hey, don't cry…" Shindou soften his tone. He was so used to this. She would cry and he would hug her in his arm for comfort. "You know, free time isn't the only thing you need in a relationship. That isn't enough. You should have understanding, trust and communication. Believe me, I know." He petted her wavy long, reddish-brown hair.

As Akari cried contentedly in Shindou's embrace, he glanced around the park. To his right was a strong, yet lonely tree. Its spiky dark green leaves were covered in a thinning blanket of ice.** That color... how can it be identical to the color of Akira's hair. I feel like he is in this park right now. Geez, I think I'm going crazy...  
**

"You have changed a lot…" Akari looked up and smiled.

"You have too!" Shindou offered after returning from his daydream.

"Oh? How?" Akari asked curiously. And then, "Forget it, don't answer! You are just going to say I shrunk or something."

"Huh? Hahaha! You still remember!" Shindou commented. Remembering he did in fact say that before.

"That's more you! Laughing like that. I was really worried, but you _are_ still the Hikaru I know. The one I remembered... that I loved." She shook her head slightly and laughed quietly at herself.

"Akari…" Shindou was shocked, but then he noticed she used 'loved', meaning not anymore…right?

"Don't worry, I'm just being stupid!" Akari smiled cheekily.

"…."

"Hikaru, can I…kiss you?" Akari's starry eyes looked deep into the bright green ones.

"…. What are you talking about...? " Shindou asked incredulously.

"Nothing." Akari turned red and flustered, "It's alright if you don't want to. It's just that... I had been wishing it for as long as I dare to remember…so, the idea is not very easy to chase away."

"Akari... we are friends, remember? Best friends, childhood friends, lifetime friends, right? You have Mitani now..." Shindou cleared his throat. **Not like it would make a difference without Mitani. I love Akari like a real sister. **This was definitely more than he asked for; he hates being awkward.

"I love Yuki! I love him more than anyone in the world. The thing is... when you can't have something that you have wanted all your life, when it's a desire that's not fulfilled, chances are you keep on wanting. For me, that is the case. I'm so sorry, Hikaru, for even thinking that for a second." Akari sounded tormented and embarrassed.

"Alright then…"

"Huh?"

"Well, " Shindou scratched his head clumsily. "You said if it's fulfilled, you will stop thinking that, right? I can't have you thinking about me when you are with someone who clearly deserves you more. As your friend, I won't allow that."

"Hikaru…"

"Well? Are you going to do it or not?" Shindou felt so uncomfortable…his first friend, his closest friend, a girl, someone-not-Akira, them, kissing…

When their lips were touching, Shindou noticed that it wasn't so bad…if he focused hard enough, he could almost imagine that the lips belong to Touya. But almost is an almost; it could never be real. When Touya kissed him, he couldn't even think let alone imagine. Then it was over.

"Um…it wasn't that bad, I thought I was going to die. Maybe struck by lightning or buried in an avalanche." Since it was over, Shindou found himself joking out of relief.

"Hikaru!" Akari screamed. And then Hikaru's roar of laughter followed. They were clearly louder than they should be in the deserted park.

And then Shindou heard a thump, something falling onto the snow. It was from the direction of that big, lonely tree. He stood up instinctively and started to walk towards it.

Something, something about that tree was yelling for attention. The tree was spreading some aura that was so familiar and so intense.

When he reached the large pine tree, he took into view an image that cooled his blood instantly. A frail body dressed in a thin black overcoat was revealed, kneeling with hands outstretches in front of it for support. The head was facing down, body trembling. 

"Touya…"

**Fijisaki-chan. I liked her…I always liked her. She was polite and nice and she respected me too.** Touya was trembling not from the cold of his fingers on the ground, but the cold spreading inside him. **And Hikaru, he laughed… They were really kissing then.**

** It's over after all, Hikaru doesn't want me anymore… Fijisaki-chan wouldn't be ashamed to be seen with Hikaru, she wouldn't think he would ruin her… **Touya continued his thoughts resignedly.**  
**

Then he heard his name, far away, faintly, and different. He waited for himself to get ready, and then he look up into the face that he missed greatly in such a short departure. The sun behind Shindou shined past his body and the gold rays attacked Touya's eyes. Touya struggled hard to catch a glimpse of Shindou's expression, but all he got was a rough outline of the shadowed figure standing inches away from him. He panicked. Feeling his vision shimmering, he quickly looked down again, grasping the snow in his hands.

A hand extended to him and he looked up again. Shindou's expression must be aloof, even without seeing it; he knew that the face was showing signs of annoyance. The eyes were dark; even if the whole face was dark, Shindou's eyes should never be dark, because his eyes glows in the dark like the ones of a cat. His eyes melts snow like the ones with X-ray.

Only when he chooses to be distant, his eyes would be dark.

**I got my answer.** Touya struggled to stand, completely ignoring the hand. **No more cowering before him... ** He stood and started to stagger away.

"Touya…" Shindou plead.

"I…I will make this right, I won't let it end like this. Just wait, Shindou." The voice that came out was colder than snow, harder than ice and scarier than death.

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

oXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXo

**Previews **for the next chapter:

-"No, Shindou-san, I will go up. Please don't come until we finish talking. Please… I mean no disrespect, but I have to talk to Hikaru privately." Akari pleaded.

-"Oh sure, I just have to tell him about the kiss, and then he would fire himself from all his jobs. That is if he cares enough about me." Akari winked.

- She swallowed her questions and complaints and said quietly, "Go find him, Shindou-kun. I'm counting on you."

-"Huh, how rude… We haven't seen your Akira. Why? He ran away from home?" Waya glared.

oXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXo

**Author's notes:** Well, there it is. Akari might seem stupid here, but trust me when I say I don't hate her… She will get better, I promise. Hmm... I think I didn't do such a good job with this chapter after all. Quite sad because it seems unnatural. I still hope you liked it though. It will get better from here, really. So any comments before we head for the finale?


	6. Act 6: The Chase Begins

Author's note: An update! I hope the story is getting a bit exciting for you too. I certainly have more fun writing this now. Too bad it's going to end soon huh… Well, my opinion anyway. Please, if you like it, drop me a line.

**The Chase Begins**

* * *

The icy wind blew in his face, as if mocking him. Shindou looked at the lean figure moving away from him, possibly for this lifetime. He turned and ran in the opposite direction. He dashed out of the park as fast as his leg could take him, leaving Akari gapping her mouth, stunned. **It's no use chasing Akira now; he would probably throw me into the frozen river.**

Shindou raced back home and stormed up the stairs, a habit his mother had recently grown to accept. She sighed deeply when he slammed the door shut.

** I don't want him to go! I don't care about anything anymore! I want Akira with me. I want him to beat me in Go; I want him to press me about Sai. I want him to argue with me about the toothbrush and the go stone. It wouldn't even matter if we have to move to a deserted island just so people won't find out, I want him. **Shindou thought franticly.

Before he could stop it, tears came pouring out.

Shindou lamented about his stupid mistakes, one after another. His pushiness, his lack of understanding, his stubbornness, his pride, his cruelty…

As he slowly drifted off to sleep, he whispered Akira's name over and over. On the brink of consciousness, Shindou decided that if this was how it was going to end between the two of them, this might as well be the end of all things.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"I'm very sorry; he is still asleep right now. Touya-kun? No, he didn't… Is everything ok?" Shindou-san grabbed the receiver tight in her hand. She was wrong. Leaving them to sort things out by themselves was wrong. They are still kids; they needed her support and guidance.

"Alright then, thank you very much. I will call again later if you don't mind." The voice on the other side quivered as it said goodbye.

Shindou-san hung up the phone, and turned to go upstairs. **The suffering stops here.** She decided. Before she could climb the stairs to Shindou's room, the doorbell rang urgently.

"Akari-chan? I haven't seen you in so long! Are you here to see Hikaru? He is not up yet…" Shindou-san uttered her greeting to the visitor. **What is going on? Akari and Hikaru haven't contacted each other for so long… why now? It's so unexpected.**

"I'm sorry to trouble you so early in the morning, Shindou-san, but this is very very important. I must talk to Hikaru… It's… it's about Touya-kun." Akari casted her eyes down, away from Shindou-san's astonished look.

"Well, of course, come in. I will go call him…."Shindou-san shifted to let the girl in. She closed the door and headed for the stairs.

"No, Shindou-san, I will go up. Please don't come until we finish talking. Please… I mean no disrespect, but I have to talk to Hikaru privately." Akari pleaded.

Shindou-san paused. Akari was like her daughter, growing up with Shindou and coming over everyday. Akari simply sees this as her second home, and Shindou-san naturally regarded her as a close family member. She had grown to love this kind hearted and bright girl. Looking at her closely now, Shindou-san saw a beautiful young woman full of emotion and intelligence. She nodded. Akari can help.

Walking up the narrow stairs, Akari felt like a kid all over again. They, Shindou and her, used to chase each other up and down the stairs all the time. Shindou had slid down the railing and broke his leg. She had tumbled down the staircase and dislocated her collar bone… they were siblings, closer than siblings. What she did yesterday was a big mistake.

She opened the door and walked into the room. It's full of Shindou's things, his smell, his sound, and his colour. It's also full of their memories. She could feel her eyes welling up, why did she go and destroy all that?

"I think it's time you start to spill your guts." Akari said softly and walked to the bed. As suspected, Shindou was awake. He turned his glazed eyes toward her and sat up. Akari sat down by the bed and put her hand on his shoulder. She had to, she just had to fix this. Shindou sighed.

For an hour and a half, Shindou told Akari his whole history with Touya. From when they became friends when they were fifteen to lovers now they are eighteen.

So much had happened during the time they lived peacefully as a couple of simple friends and rivals. So much has changed since they confessed a year ago.

He told her their fight and his fear of losing him. He told her his anger and disappointment of Touya being ashamed. He told her his life without Touya; the empty heart without happiness, even for only a few days. When he finished, he let out a huge breath and collapsed unto his plopped up pillows.

"Hikaru, you idiot, I can't believe you guys are fighting over that! I know I don't understand your kind of love. But love is love! And that's all that matters."

Akari jumped up and stood in front of Shindou. Her shadowed face was scary as she continued to scream her opinion. Her expression reminded Shindou of the young Akari back in the days when they would play Hide-and-Seek and Shindou would cheated by peeking…

"You were busy thinking how Touya-kun doesn't want to tell anyone! But why do you want to tell everyone? It's for the same reason! You want to feel accepted. You are just like Touya-kun! You are scared too, maybe more than him!!" Akari reasoned.

"No…" Shindou retorted.

"That's why you wanted so much reassurance. You wanted people to say 'yes, I approve'. You are just more open! That doesn't make you free of any insecurity you feel about your relationship! You remember that time when I failed that test, and instead of letting my mom find out about it, I went and told her? Did you think I was proud? That's how you are now! I can't believe you blamed Touya-kun for all that! What about you? Are you really that innocent?"

"Enough!" Shindou snapped. 'Are you really that innocent? Are you really that innocent? Are you really….' "That's not true! Don't twist the truth! I just wanted to know for sure that being with him is the right thing to do. I love Touya, and I would never be ashamed of that!"

Akari was startled for a second, and then she gasped when she saw the tears sliding down his face. Shindou didn't cry the time he broke his leg…

"Oh…I'm so sorry! I, I'm just talking nonsense; what do I know, right? I… oh Hikaru, don't cry!" She sat back down beside him and petted him on his shoulder. "Of course you love Touya-kun… look at you."

"No, you were right. I...I... was afraid. I was, Akari." Shindou looked up.

"I know. There is nothing wrong with that." Akari tried hard to comfort him.

"But I wasn't afraid because I was ashamed. Really, Akari, I was only afraid that when they find out, I will lose him. I can't. Do you understand? I mustn't lose him. But because of my stupidity, I'm losing him now." Shindou was in an emotional upheaval, and Akari was flustered. A few years ago, kill her and she still wouldn't believe Shindou was capable of being deeply in love.

"I think I get it now… Akari, I owe you big time." He looked up, his eyes brighter than ever; he smiled sincerely for the first time in the past weeks.

"Don't regret you said that! You know what? Maybe it's better for Yuki to be so busy." Akari said thoughtfully. Her eyes twinkling mischievously.

"Oh? Why?" Shindou rubbed his eyes.

"Well, I can't help but wonder, do all the people with so much time in their hands do stupid things like this? I mean, here I am yearning for my boyfriend to pay me more attention, and you guys just have to push each other out of your arms. Do you guys have nothing better to do?" Akari said indignantly. "Shindou, remember, trust in unspoken words. You have to trust that the other trust you."

Shindou looked at her with huge eyes, **where the heck did she get that?**

"You know, I just noticed something you should take in college. You would be awesome at it!" Shindou felt his heart lighten. So it wasn't Touya who was the problem, it was himself… **I blamed Touya for something I couldn't get over…**

"What?"

"Philosophy." Shindou said it like it was very obvious.

"I might just take your words for it."

Seeing how Akari twist her face, Shindou laughed again. "Well, Akari, I really am grateful. That's the advantage of having a childhood friend. They know everything about you, maybe more than you do yourself. I think I should go and fix this mess. See you soon, okay?"

Shindou jumped up and roughly brushed his hair.

"Don't take my advice but if I were Touya-kun, I would run if I see you like that." Akira leaned on the bed post and teased.

Shindou grunted, but nevertheless, he turned and walked into the bathroom. Ten minutes later, a showered, dried, and refreshed Shindou came out with a hair brush in hand.

"I think this will do?" he inquired nervously.

"Splendid. Go now." Akari nodded her approval.

Shindou grinned and walked a few steps to the door. He turned around, "OH, Are you sure you are going to be okay with Yuki?"

"Oh sure, I just have to tell him about the kiss, and then he would fire himself from all his jobs. That is if he cares enough about me." Akari winked.

"I don't want to die! Not now! Don't you dare!" Shindou turned again.

"Shindou, wait. I... I'm very sorry for what I have done." Akari mumbled.

"Hey, don't be silly. I never blamed you. I just don't know how to thank you for..." Shindou gestured clumsily.

"Don't mention it. Hey, if you really want it, you got my vote. Go get him!" she raised a fist.

"Thanks, I appreciate that. But you were right, it's not important anymore." Shindou walked away, determined. **No matter what Touya have in store for me, or not have in store, I will be ready!**

"Mom, I'm going out!"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Touya-san, this is Shindou… I was wondering if Akira is home." Shindou stood inside the telephone booth in the station, half chiding himself for not thinking ahead and call at home.

"Oh dear… I thought he was with you originally. He didn't come home last night…" Akiko frowned, **what is with that boy these days?**

"Well, he was with me. And then he left and I…" **Where the hell is he?**

"Shindou-kun, would you mind me asking what's going on?" Akiko asked politely but forcefully.

"I'm very sorry, Touya-san… We didn't mean to make you worry. I promise you I will find him. He is as important to me as he is to you." Shindou said quietly. "Don't worry, I will find him. Then we will tell you…together."

Akiko widened her eyes slightly. She suddenly realized that her boy had grown up. He is flying too high for her to catch up and she has to let him go…

She swallowed her questions and complaints and said quietly, "Go find him, Shindou-kun. I'm counting on you."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**The institute!** Shindou hopped unto the train and headed for the institute. He didn't think Touya would be there at this time, but maybe someone would know where he is.

Skipping two steps at a time, Shindou burst into the front hall. He waited for the elevator like his pants were on fire, and he knocked several people over on his way to the game room. Shindou poked his head in and was nonetheless disappointed that the olive haired boy wasn't there.

"I didn't know you got a game today." Waya's voice came from behind him.

"Have you seen Akira?" Shindou asked urgently.

"Huh, how rude… We haven't seen your Akira. Why? He ran away from home?" Waya glared.

"Shindou, is everything ok?" Isumi's piercing gaze was searching him.

"Isumi-san, please… I have to find him."

"I see." Isumi paused and bit his lips. Suddenly, he smiled knowingly and added, "You should check the weekly-go department over on the west. I heard that Touya called for a news conference yesterday. They thought he wasn't going to show up this morning when he was late. But just a minute ago, Amano-sensei rushed out of here and was heading for the building. I guess Touya decided to go."

Isumi offered the useful information coolly, knowing his help this time would change the life of two young men.

"Thanks a lot." Shindou smiled gratefully. He was about to dash out when Waya grabbed his arm.

"Explain. I need to know what is going on."

"Waya!" Shindou and Isumi both screamed.

It was clear how determined Waya was. Shindou could feel the frustration boiling within; he could not afford to sit and chat. Besides, repeating the same story over and over doesn't sound appealing at all.

"Waya, I don't care if you will stop being my friend or whatever, since I don't like you much right now anyway. But I love Akira, Okay? And he is mad at me right now. So if you don't let go, you will regret it!"

Waya smiled triumphantly, apparantly very proud of himself. "I knew it! But really, Shindou, if you ever change your mind… I got a…"

A hand clasped his mouth just in time. "What Waya was trying to say is that you are our friend no matter what, and you have our votes. We wish you the best luck!" Isumi decided that he doesn't want to lose his partner just yet, even if he is a very lousy person.

A young reporter was so excited that he among all the other people there heard this piece of rare information.** See if I won't get a raise for this.** He thought to himself smugly. Little did he know that, if he went with Amano-san, he would be able to catch a bigger fish in the weekly-go department right now. But it doesn't hurt to get both sides of the story…

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

oXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXo 

**Previews **for the next chapter:

-"Of course we already know!" …**We?** Shindou felt dread… "Now, are you going to stay here and chat, I brought some popcorn. Or are you going to go in there and…"

-"…Yes…. But what he didn't know was, all these days without him already started to ruin me."

- "Hey, I'm not the one broadcasting it! And surprisingly, it isn't Waya either!"

-"Shindou, you idiot!"

"Touya, you baka!"

"Obnoxious pest!"

"Stubborn bastard!"

oXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXo

**Author's note**: Well, that's that. I will try to update sooner since it's weird to pause in the middle of something that had just gotten exciting, agree? Well, I'm certainly enjoying myself, and if you do want to be helpful and supportive, drop a comment, I'm not stopping you.


	7. Act 7: The Chase Ends

Author's note: This is the second part of Shindou's chase. Hopefully he will catch up to his broken-hearted rival… before it's too late. Muahahaha... ahem.

**The Chase Ends!**

* * *

Shindou was thinking of taking a cab since walking there would take him half a day. Just when he reached into his pocket, however, he found out miserably that he had no money. **Well, home is just a few stops away. **With that, he continued his marathon of the day. 

"Hikaru? What are you doing home again?" his mother greeted him by the door.

"Oh, I need to get some change for a taxi." Shindou said as he scrambled up the stairs.

"Oh, don't waste time and money getting a cab." Shindou-san pulled her son down from the flight of stairs.

"Mom! It's important!" Shindou struggled.

"Come on then! I will drive you!"

The passenger was quiet as Shindou-san sped to this certain Weekly-go department in the west. He was wringing his hands nervously and checking his watch every few seconds. Shindou-san felt sorry for her son, but she was also somewhat touched by his action. **It's been some time now since Hikaru last cared about anything.**

In about twenty minutes, she stopped the car right in front of the door of a big building, earning herself a sour look from the security guard.

"Thanks mom!" Shindou climbed out.

"Go get him, my boy!" Shindou-san said excitingly.

Shindou froze… **what did she just say? **

"Mom…How did you…" Shindou panicked. Now what? "You…"

"Of course we already know!" …**We?** Shindou felt dread rising up from his heart… "Now, are you going to stay here and chat... I will go buy some popcorn. Or are you going to go in there and…"

"I'm gone, Mom!" Shindou felt like he could do anything! Everyone was counting on him; everyone was there to help him. Everything would be alright! **If only Touya would gave me time to fix things.**

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**I have to do this. Don't back down now! Come on, you know you can do it! Everything will be fine…I hope.**

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. Today, we have the pleasure to interview one of the rising stars of the professional Go world. Taking after his father, Touya Akira has shown an amazing talent no other teenager of his age would even dream of. And now, everyone is free to ask any questions they want and our Touya-kun will try his best to answer."

"Excuse me, would you tell us a little bit about your latest win against the 7-Dan?" A young reporter in a blue dress started off.

"I'm sorry; but if it's all the same to you, I will take questions later. Right now, I would like to just speak." Touya smiled shyly at the puzzled television and newspaper reporters.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**Oh, phew. I made it!** Shindou looked up at the empty stage with a lone mike stand in the center. Touya was standing behind the stand and was smiling like an angel. But Shindou knew that wasn't his real smile. He looked prettier when he truly smiles. **My Akira. He is here. So normal, so polite...** **Did I miss anything? I will talk to him after this. He won't have the time to run away!**

"I don't really know how to begin so…please be patient with me. I always thought Go was my life. I always thought that was all I needed in this lifetime. So I followed my dream and practiced Go days and nights. I gave up all the other things a male teenager my age enjoys to do: playing sports and video games, making friends, going to festivals and circuses, dating pretty girls." Touya started in his deep, smooth voice. He was relieved to see everyone writing instead of staring at him.

"I believed that Go was what I needed. I believed that fact until I was fifteen. Everyone here can agree with me when I say I love Go more than anything in this world, yet, someone showed me that Go isn't enough. That isn't half of what I needed. He revealed a side of me I never knew I had; the side that nobody else took the time to notice." He got nervous now because quite a few people looked up from their paper. **Well, no turning back now.**

"He taught me how to sincerely smile, and even laugh. He lets me know that I was capable of opening my heart to other people. He convinced me that I do in fact have feelings and I'm not all cold and emotionless. Which some people likes to call calm and composed. He stirred me to be angry like a mad man. Can any of you imagine the always calm and nonchalance Touya waving his hands around, hair flying everywhere, and yelling impolite things at his opponent? Well, I did." There was a fit of laughter among the audience.

Shindou smiled a little but he was confused. **What is Touya doing? **

"And then…over time, I fell in love with that person. I couldn't help it. I knew it was wrong; I knew my parents would be angry and ashamed, but… love is a very strange thing, and I never was a strong person. I surrendered to it. I accepted that person." Akira's voice started to waver. Some of the audience chattered or gasped.

"Even though I loved him with all my heart, even though I meant all the things I said about how I loved him, it wasn't enough. I planned to keep our relationship in the dark, persuading myself that it was the only right thing to do. My pride won't let me tell anyone. The arrogance that everyone led me to believe I have won't let me make it public. And then one day, he left me." Akira hung his head. His hand was gripping the stand and he was almost crying.

"Who on earth would do such a thing? Is he even human?" One of the emotional reporters yelled after minutes of silence.

Shindou widen his eyes.He felt like someone had slapped his cheek hard. **Is that what Touya was planning, to steal the sympathy of all the people? So everyone would hate me for being a cold blooded person? I guess I deserved it. Let him do what he wanted. **

Shindou smiled painfully and stood. He was all too ready to walk out when he heard a desperate cry.

"No! It wasn't his fault! I said something terrible. He was trying so hard to make everything so unnoticeable. I know he hated the fact that all those girls stared at me during teaching sessions. I know that he wanted to put his arms around me and be proud when I win a game. But he couldn't do any of that, because of my despicable pride! And then… when he asked me what was I afraid of… you know what I said?" He looked at the mass of people before him. His face streaming with tears.

"You said it would ruin you!" Shindou stood up and everyone turned to him.

**What is going on? What is it now?** Everyone thought. "You said that! Didn't you?" Shindou forgot that he was there to persuade Touya to come back to him. He forgot everything when those heart-stabbing words were mentioned again.

"…Yes…. But what he didn't know was, all these days without him already started to ruin me. I didn't mean what I said! I swear! I was afraid because if no one approved our relationship, he could get hurt and he might not have the strength to follow through. What I was afraid of was losing him. Would he follow through with it if no one approves. Shindou, would he?"

"…No…" Shindou felt his face dampening too. "Not then… but now, he would. Thank you for that… I didn't realize…" Shindou started to walk to the front. Everyone was confused; they didn't know where to look.** Is this the 'lucky' young man Touya was talking about? Now that would make a lot of sense...  
**

"I was always the one with problems…Akari made me realize that earlier today. You know what she said? She said 'you were busy thinking how Touya-kun doesn't want to tell anyone! But why do you want to tell everyone? It's for the same reason! You want to feel accepted!' I'm sorry, Akira. I just want you to forgive me. That's all…"

"I guess I made another mistake… I was so busy thinking that I must get you back, but can you truly be happy back with me? What did I do to deserve you? I just want you to say 'I forgive you'. That's all I need." Shindou stopped at the middle of the room. The people, the chatter seemed to fad away as he focused on Touya.

"Well, what makes you think I would say that?! Isn't that letting you off too easily?" Touya snapped. His words startled everyone and shattered Shindou. "You better spend the rest of your life paying back what you owed me! You think I would just let you get off the hook like that?"

"You mean…"

"And I will try to pay back what I can too... Shindou, we are going to be together for a long time!" with that Touya jumped off the stage and started to run towards Shindou.

Shindou understood and was waiting for him, waiting for Touya to finally come back to him. Their body crashed together, squeezing the air out of them. Touya rested his head on Shindou's neck curve and whispered, "You didn't think I would break that promise. Did you?"

"Of course not…" Shindou breathed in relief and didn't even care that he started their new life with a small white lie. "Touya, why are you doing this? I thought…"

"Well, I figured that if I want to live with you forever, I have to tell people sooner or later. And if I have to explain every time someone asks, why not just tell them all at once?"

"Why didn't I think of that? And I was repeating or hinting it over and over." Shindou kissed Touya on his head.

"What? Who did you tell? What do you mean… over and over?"

"Does it matter? Compare to you?" Shindou glanced at the still frozen reporters.

"Who did you tell? You know… some of them, I would like to keep this secret for as long as possible."

"Well, remember our stupid fight? You said 'that is why we can't tell anyone! Neither your parents nor mine! Not Isumi and definitely not Waya!' remember? Well, freaky coincidence, I pretty much told all of the above." Shindou confessed sheepishly. Then he remembered Akari and slowly added, "...and then some."

Touya's face darkened, "you are so irresponsible! I can't trust you to do anything!"

"Hey! I'm not the one broadcasting it! And surprisingly, it isn't Waya either!"

"Well, if you care to pay attention with that attention span of yours, I just told you why I did it!"

"What about the 'I was afraid because if no one approved our relationship, he could get hurt' huh? If I could get hurt, why did you do it now?"

"I…screw you! Who cares about you?"

"Oh yeah? Well, you would be ruined without me!"

"Shindou, you idiot!"

"Touya, you baka!"

"Obnoxious pest!"

"Stubborn bastard!"

"Wow! Classic! Write it down… tomorrow's headline shall be: Lovers in Disguise!" one of the reporters exclaimed through the bickering.

"But I don't think they are faking it!" the assistant comment worriedly.

"Oh! Learn!"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

By midnight, two outstanding versions of the story were written and printed off the press. Headline #1: Lovers in Disguise. Two huge black and white pictures on the front page contrasted greatly. The Touya that leaned lovingly into Shindou in the first picture proceeded to rip his head off in the second one... Headline #2: Love vs. Friendship was accompanied by a single picture of Shindou struggling with Waya at the Go institute.

Oh yes, when the words got out... that little reporter? He did, in fact, get a 'reasonable' raise on his next pay check...

* * *

**Author's note**: Well, that's that. They had finally made up! Cheesy and Cliche, yes, but it hit home. I couldn't help but notice that I have made Shindou into the 'King of Quotes" here since he practically read off my previous chapters. Haha, oops? Anyway, don't get too sad, there is still another short snippet to go! I originally wanted to put the ending and this together. Heck, I originally thought this can very well be the ending…but instinct told me that something was not right. So coming up next, the epilogue.

Also, please do review! I noticed that I haven't gotten much response for this story. I guess I didn't really stress it but I do love comments from the readers. Even now, when it's about to end, I don't even know what most people thought of it. Don't like it? Why? I would like to know. So please be generous and donate a little time to write me a little something. Thank you in advance! Anyway, on we go!


	8. Act 8: The Epilogue

Author's note: This is a tearful moment… it's the absolute ending! I hope those of you who liked it so far will like the end as well. I personally think that the endings of stories are tricky, and they usually don't please people. I tried my best, so please be kind. Also, since this _is_ the last chapter, please don't forget to review! Tell me what you think of my first piece. Thank you.

**Epilogue**

* * *

The lone wind chime swayed lazily in the wind. Its hollow sound cuts into the freezing winter like a sharpened steel blade. On one hand, the clinking can chill you to the bone; bringing forth shudders from the very core of your existence. On the other, you can be sure that its empty echoes in the garden will always keep you awake…sharp and ready. 

He sat, frozen in place. His face betrayed not a hint of emotion. For the longest time, he did not move; why, he didn't even blink. Then, swift as the lightning, his right hand rose and…pah! A stone crashed noisily onto the board, no longer an individual, but a part of a big design…

The door leading out was slide wide open, giving view to the ancient Japanese garden in the backyard. Covered in snow and frost, it was devoid of any signs of life. The wind blew restlessly, sometimes quiet, sometimes noisy. Inside the wooden room, there was no furniture. That is, nothing except the big, old Goban accompanied by its two bowls of stones. In the corner, a stack of newspapers lay obediently, showing no evidence of ever being touched.

Pah, another…

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Akira-kun, please..." Akiko pulled lightly at Touya's sleeve. "Please… your father… your father's health… I…"

"Mother, I'm sorry." Touya whispered. He continued to head towards the family study session room, all the while gently prying his mother's hands off his shirt. Shindou walked behind him silently with his hands in his pockets. He did not see what he could do… if anything at all.

It was only yesterday that they made a big scene and landed their first debut on TV as a couple. The publics' reaction was pretty much what they had calculated it to be, shock, apathy, indignant, disgust, loathing … and joy? Touya and Shindou discussed late into the night that it would not do to keep it from Touya Meijin, if he hadn't already found out. And truly, how could he have not? The event that shook the entire Go world…

"Let me talk to him." Akiko argued desperately. "If nothing else then let me go in with you…"

It was true that Touya Meijin's health had not been at its best behaviors these past few years, but what worried her the most was what would happen to this family if… if things got out in the open? She didn't think she could handle the worst. Even after years of practice and getting use to, even after all the self-persuasion it took for her to accept that she would never have a normal family, she could not stand to see it fall apart, at least not before she did.

"I have to do this alone, mother. _We_ have to…" Touya looked at Shindou with a pair of greatly troubled eyes. Shindou could see fear, regret, determination, and desperation… He could feel his heart tightening at the helpless state his lover was in. He walked forward and clutched Touya's hand in his, and squeezed lightly.

"Everything will be fine, Touya-san. I promise you." Shindou said to the woman reassuringly while holding up their intertwined hands, as if declaring to protect Touya from any possible harm.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Touya did not wait. What would he expect from knocking and waiting, his father calling him to enter? No, he slide the paper door open and bowed his head. The chilliness of the room almost undid him. Yet he could feel his hands damping.

"Father, how are you today?" Touya started. He held his breath and waited shortly for his father to reply. Nothing… Touya couldn't help but smile, if not bitterly. At least he had an odd sense of reassurance knowing that things were going exactly the way he expected.

"Shindou and I… have come to discuss a matter with you." Touya added.

"Touya-san" Shindou acknowledged steadily.

A moment passed in silence. Touya and Shindou were unsure as to what to do. They did not want to risk marching in without permission and accidentally setting off the ticking bomb, but they didn't think it would be much help to stand there by the doorway.

"Come in and have a seat." Touya Kouyo said calmly. His tone startled Shindou, who was all too ready for a punch in the face.

"Father…have you heard the news?" Touya inquired carefully after he sat himself down properly. Shindou followed with a slight hesitation.

"Akira…what is your final decision?" The Meijin asked without answering Touya's question directly. Again, his words puzzled Shindou. **Why did he sound like he is asking Akira for some kind of advice? **

"Father, I have decided to stay by Shindou… no matter what." Touya said; his voice hardened with a challenging tone. "I would be forever grateful if you consent."

"Consent what, Akira?" Touya Meijin went on with his deadly calming voice.

Touya Akira paused carefully. He could not tell if his father genuinely wanted to know or if he was merely being scornful. "I respect you too much to not come and discuss this face-to-face with you, father."

"I see…but not enough to stop yourself from bringing me disgrace and trouble, I assume?" He returned casually.

Shindou frowned. That wasn't fair, and that had hurt Touya. He could tell by the boy's stiffened back and clutched fist.

"I'm sorry." Touya lowered his head again.

"And you, Shindou-kun? I don't reckon you have come to be my decoration for this otherwise un-tastefully designed room?" The Meijin mocked.

"…"

"Not very brave, are we? Akira, aren't you hurt that your … what should I call him? Aren't you hurt that Shindou-kun doesn't seem too eager to defend you?" Touya Kouyo finally looked up at the two uncomfortable teenagers kneeling in front of him.

"Father…"

"I wish you would just get angry! It's clear that you don't like what you are dealing with right now! It would be better if you just hit me or whatever. What's the point of saying these seemingly courteous words if they are meant to sting?!" Shindou exploded at last, a bit too quickly and much to his late realization…very impolitely.

"I see, you are not open to confrontation? Fine, Shindou-kun, how ready can you say you are to take a punch?" Kouyo slanted his head slightly and smirked.

"If you want to, go right ahead!" Shindou puffed up his chest.

"Shindou!" Touya Akira rose a bit. Uh-oh, things are starting to spin out of control. "Father, he is just nervous. He didn't mean –"

"Then… how ready can you say you are to take a punch from every player in the Go world?" the Meijin continued uninterrupted, focusing his sole attention on Shindou.

"If that's how you will acknowledge us, then fine!" Shindou retorted.

"Shindou, be quiet! Let me handle this." Touya was flustered. He refused to believe that his father would ever turn the Go world against them, but that doesn't mean he couldn't.

"Then, I have another question for you, Shindou-kun. How ready are you to take an extra punch from every player in the Go world which is supposed to be directed at Akira?" Kouyo studied Shindou carefully with his burning gaze.

Touya gasped quietly. His father…

Shindou was confused. What is the purpose of asking him these? "I would not let them lay a hand on Akira! Why are you asking me these?"

"Father, I will talk to you later. Shindou, let's go." Touya stood up briskly and grabbed his rival's arm to heave him up.

"Running away?" Touya Meijin's deep voice boomed. "What did you expect, Akira? Did you really think it's smooth-sailing from now on? What I said, can it begin to compare to what the world out there has in store for you? Where are you going to go when they are through with you; the Arctic?!"

Touya stopped cold in his step. **From the sound of that… was father testing me?**

"I know that it will be hard, Touya-san! I know there will be many ways to hurt us. Many schemes will be devised to weaken us! But I don't think either one of us would handle it well alone. I will not think, even for a second, of leaving Touya because of it. That's what we learned from all this fuss!" Shindou struggled out of Touya's hold and reasoned. "Besides, the whole Japan probably knows by now. Isn't it better to just bare our teeth and follow through with it?"

"If you have the intention, I can easily cover it up for you. Childish prank would work fine. Or I can say it's a publicity stunt. It can be stifled in less than a year." Touya Meijin said calmly again. All the while, he mused over the young man's words and weighted their veracity.

"Impossible!" Touya spoken up harshly, recovering from his shock. "Father, I think you will be disappointed in me if I do something that cowardice. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing I have betrayed myself and Shindou like that."

For a longest while, no one spoke. None of them moved. Touya stood glaring at his father. Shindou blinked at his lover incredulously. Touya Meijin studied his son with an unreadable expression. Outside the room, Akiko-san stood wringing her hands, trembling slightly.

"If that's what you have decided…" The older man broke the silence suddenly and sighed.

"You do understand that if you encounter a problem in the future, I will be very reluctant to help out." The older Touya added as an afterthought.

"I… understand." Touya uttered quietly. "Thank you very much and… I'm sorry."

"Right then, anyway, I'm tired. Please leave me now." Touya Meijin stood up and walked to the door leading to the garden. He slid the wooden frame back in place and turned to face them.

"And Shindou-kun, please do come by occasionally to play a game with me." He offered the invitation.

"Uh, ye…yes, I will." Shindou stuttered, taken by surprise by this turn of events.

As the duo retreated from the room, Touya Kouyo sat back down in front of his Goban and closed his eyes. Minutes passed in absolute silence again. Then, like the sun gracing the earth after a storm, he allowed a smile to crawl into his feature; because after all, he never expected anything less from his son and his son's destined companion.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Akiko took a few steps back as the door slide open. She had heard it all… She was happy that nothing seriously bad had happened. Despite Kouyo's stubborn nature, she knew that over time, things would be fine again.

"Mother, sorry for causing you to worry." Touya came to her side and said remorsefully.

"Don't be silly… I just want you to be happy." She said quietly.

She knew that as a mother, she had failed quite miserably. She could not teach him all that she knew and she did not share with him all that she obtained in life. She admitted, quite begrudgingly, that Shindou could perhaps give Touya happiness, and she would not be the one to take it away. That seemed like the least she could do.

"Excuse me, Shindou-kun." She nodded politely and turned to climb the stairs to her bedroom.

"Touya-san…I just want to thank you for raising such a wonderful son." Shindou called after her. He did not see what a reaction his words caused. He only saw her hand moving to her face and the slight trembling of her shoulders as she turned the corner of the first flight of stairs.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"I want to get out of here." Shindou commented as he waited for the house to settle back into quietness again.

"Fine, let's leave now." Touya jolted out of his trance and turned to gather their coats. "But you better get use to this place. It is my home, despite everything."

The two of them left the warm house and looked up at the elegant building thoughtfully. Shindou blew into his gloved hands as he waited for Touya to lock the door.

"I know. It's just that… your family is intense." Shindou said timidly. Then he grinned and added, "I now see why you have that sour personality of yours"

"Take a guess; am I in the mood to bicker with you right now?" Touya turned around and looked up into the sky. It was gray but it didn't look like snow would start pouring down any time soon.

"Come on; take that scowl off your face. You know your father didn't mean the things he said…" Shindou reached over and put his arm around Touya's shoulder protectively. "There always seems to be more to him than I imagine."

"I know…" Touya lowered his head onto Shindou's shoulder and sighed. They stood in the front garden, not moving for the longest time.

"You know, I think there is something we should do right now." Shindou said suddenly and turned to look at Touya with shining eyes.

"Oh? What do you have in mind?" despite his tone, Touya couldn't help but getting a little curious. That's the thing, Shindou can always make him feel something different from what he intended to feel.

"Let's take a trip." Shindou said while dragging Touya away.

"What? Now?" Touya felt his temple throbbing lightly, a warning for the oncoming headache. What did he expect really?

"Yeah…to Innoshima," Shindou kept walking, but Touya could feel the tension in his voice.

"What? Wait. Stop, Hikaru," Touya pulled Shindou to a halt and circled around to face him. His incredulous expression suddenly turned serious and he tightened his grip on Shindou's hand.

"Innoshima? Isn't that where…" Touya found his voice faltering. He was too surprised to believe that he was going to go… He tried again, this time more confident in his suspicion. "That's where Honinbou Shuusaku was born."

"I trust you would know that." Shindou said quietly, smiling lightly at Touya. "Did you know then, that he also died there?"

"Well, yeah. Hikaru, what do you mean? Why are we going there?" Touya asked tentatively.

But he knew… of course he knows! He had always known that when Shindou was ready to tell him about Sai, the one thing he kept out of Touya's reach, he would bring Touya to the homeland of his favorite legendary Go player, to the one place he visits every year, the place where a dreamlike episode of Shindou's past felt most real… the place where an extraordinary secret was carefully preserved.

"Touya, are you ready to hear my story?" Shindou asked carefully, his face solemn and his expression almost sacred.

"You can't be serious. I mean, are you sure?" Touya struggled to express himself. After years of waiting and yearning, the truth is now so close he could almost touch it. Yet… is Shindou really ready?

"I don't know if I'm sure, and that's the truth. But I know that I don't want to have anymore secrets. If you are willing to listen, I'm sure Sai will be alright with it now. So what do you think?" Shindou stared determinedly into Touya's eyes. In reality, he was very much afraid. He didn't have a clue if Sai would be alright with it, he highly doubt he could explain everything right, and he couldn't imagine Touya's reaction… but in spite of all that…he wanted to share Sai with Touya. He wanted him to be _their_ secret.

Completely speechless, Touya lightly nodded his head. When Shindou finally picked up his hand again to lead him in the direction of the station, he felt an exciting burst in his chest. He couldn't wait… after all this time!

Slowly, the heavy clouds shifted. Streaks of golden sun rays pierced through the misty vapor. The gray surroundings brightened up and basked in the pale light. Like reviving elixir, the warmth flowed into their body, washing over their hearts. Shindou turned to the sky wistfully. He could hear it! From the open heaven came a smooth, faraway echo; the tender voice of his dear mentor. And it seems to say…

_Touya Akira, my name is Fujiwara no Sai. _

**THE END… **

"Oh yeah, Shindou, who told you I liked those disgusting green tea candies?!"

**OR NOT**

* * *

**One final author's note**: Those of you who had stuck with my Shindou and Touya through their ups and downs, they thank you. I know they are not as perfect and interesting as the original ones of Yumi Hotta and Takeshi Obata, but they are my beloved. I think the greatest reward of writing a story piece is to see the characters come through and for them to bring joy to the readers. Now I don't know how successful I was at my attempt, but thank you all for reading it nevertheless. I greatly appreciate it. Bless you. s2. 


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